John wailed like a child when he got home to inform his parents of the events that had happened in his relationship; Mary his fiancée had walked out of the relationship a week to the wedding day which they had been preparing for over 6 months without giving any tangible excuses. Nothing they did comforted him; he was so heartbroken that they had to compel him to stay with them for over a week (he had already gotten his leave of absence from the office because of the wedding arrangement) because of the fear of the stability of his mind.
What broke John was not just the timing which Mary decided to end the relationship alone, but what he discovered two days afterwards. He had done everything possible to make Mary change her mind when she quitted the relationship; he had called his friends and her own to speak to her. He had wept in her presence, begging her not to leave him, yet she just kept behaving in an unperturbed manner. Two days after she quitted the relationship, he got a call from one of his friends that his fiancée was getting married in one of the registries. He did not believe his ears until he got to the venue of the wedding and seeing his sweet heart in the arm of another man. He went wild, screaming at the top of his voice incoherently until he lost consciousness.
When John ruminated on the issue months later, he discovered that all signs showed that things were not right in the relationship but he had given excuse for them because he loved Mary. He remembered that she kept talking about her previous boy friend that had traveled abroad and never got back to her in manner that shows she still cares for him (he discovered later that he was the one she got married to); she will suddenly disappear when she wants to receive some calls, etc. Though he is gradually getting over the heartbreak, yet the hurt some times feel fresh.
This is the sad story that some men have to tell about the opposite sex; they got hurt because they ignored obvious signs that things were not right in their relationship. Here are list of ladies you should not consider for a partner…
Women who have not buried the past- The past is powerful enough to shape the future; if things go wrong with our lives in the past, it could have a grave impact on our present and future. Pain can do a constructive or destructive work on people depending on how each individual react to it.
When I spoke in one of the university in Nigeria recently on relationship issues; one of the question that I was asked was on the issue of a guy going through challenging times in his relationship because his fiancée can’t just let go of the past. She has formed an opinion that men can’t be trusted, so I was asked what the guy should do. My response was that the guy should walk out of the relationship. Why did I come to this conclusion? Over the years I have discovered that hurting people hurt others either consciously or unconsciously.
One way you will know a person that is hurting is; she consciously generalizes everyone as the same. The statement, ‘All men are the same’ is a statement often associated to hurting people. It is best a man walk out of a relationship that his lady keeps talking about the past than stay in it. If your lady keeps reliving the glory of her past relationship, then my advice is that you set her free to go back to her old lover and run for your dear life.
Women who are not discreet with words- I was in a friends place once when two individuals (a guy and his fiancée) walked in to see him, to work out a challenge that they were going through. In the cause of discussion, the lady became dirty in her use of words. Her words were so foul that I did not need to wonder what will happen when they get married.
If you ever meet a lady who can say anything just as they are, you have found disaster that is about to happen. No man should be blinded nor should they give excuses for the lack of discretion on the issue of words from the lady they are dating. Irrespective of how angry a person is, it is wrong to fight dirty with words.
Let me give this advice to every male single that will read this write up; walk out of the relationship with any lady that batter your ego. One way that a man’s ego can be battered is when he is compared with another individual. I have said this to men in the relationship meetings that I was privileged to speak in; walk out of any relationship that your fiancée compares you with your friend, she will not stop it after marriage. Never forget that we are designed to behave in a consistent manner; a bad mouth lady will not be a wise one after marriage.
Ask men who have thrown a punch at their wives; you will hear that they (wives) said things that made them loose control. If you want to be a gentleman after marriage, stay away for foul mouthed ladies irrespective of your feelings.
Women that you suspect are two timing- There is nothing that hurt a married man more than knowing that his wife is sexual involved with another man; men have been known to take the path of murder to save their honor.
Women who two time are pretty smart about how they go about it; over the years though, I have come to a conclusion that there is no perfect cover up or liars. What get decent men fooled easily is they close their mind to what is evidently wrong in their relationship. Sometimes they ignore the uncomfortable feeling that they have about their partner; some of this feeling initially does not have a concrete evident to prove its veracity.
When you are dating a lady who will not pick her calls in your presence nor can explain some of her movement, you may be relating with a lady that is two timing. If a lady is not consistent in her words she is a potential two timer because people who lie are prone to other evil vices.
Women who are too in control of their lives- Women who make decisions of their own and carry a posture of been in charge are not the best of women to get married to. It is good that a lady knows what she wants out of life, and be daring to achieve it. Yet she should not be the type that is not willing to change or adapt to the requirement of letting her man take the leadership position in the relationship.
I heard the story of a young man that stopped his marriage arrangement recently; his fiancée had taken a major decision in the marriage plans without consulting him though they had both talked on the issue earlier and he had given her a standing instruction on the issue.
Women who will not allow their men take the leadership position should be done away with before marriage; love should not blind any man from the reality of the misery of a woman that always has her way. I feel every man should read my write up on the internet (www.scribd.com... log in femi fasanya) tagged when men wear brassiere and women singlet. Though the write up is for married men, yet I feel it will help those that are single see reasons to make a wise choice of a submissive lady for a wife.
Women with terrible attitude- A dear friend, who got to know a lady years ago, decided that it was time to solidify the relationship. He made his proposal known to her and she told him she was going to think about. Few weeks later, she came visiting him at home for the first time. Her attitude the day she came visiting was appalling; she spoke rudely and behaved so terribly that my friend allowed the relationship die a natural death. Today he is married to someone else and I consider the move a smart one.
A Nigerian adage says, ‘Attitude is like smoke, it cannot be hidden.’ When you meet a person with a terrible attitude, it won’t take long to know it, but some single men ignore it because these ladies treat them differently. Some men ignore these dangerous flaws until they got married and feel like they are in a trap.
Men should note attitudes tied to relationship with close family members; if your babe is not the accommodating type and you love your family, the best you can do is move on. Attitudes when it comes to spending should not be ignored; if you are dating a lady who sees you as a meal ticket or she has become dependant on you for things, move on. If you get married to a lady who is milking you today, after marriage, you will be hiding your money in the car.
Do you have a question on any relationship issue? Send a text and get a response; your confidentiality will be kept.
Olufemi Fasanya
08037257479, 08083906495
What broke John was not just the timing which Mary decided to end the relationship alone, but what he discovered two days afterwards. He had done everything possible to make Mary change her mind when she quitted the relationship; he had called his friends and her own to speak to her. He had wept in her presence, begging her not to leave him, yet she just kept behaving in an unperturbed manner. Two days after she quitted the relationship, he got a call from one of his friends that his fiancée was getting married in one of the registries. He did not believe his ears until he got to the venue of the wedding and seeing his sweet heart in the arm of another man. He went wild, screaming at the top of his voice incoherently until he lost consciousness.
When John ruminated on the issue months later, he discovered that all signs showed that things were not right in the relationship but he had given excuse for them because he loved Mary. He remembered that she kept talking about her previous boy friend that had traveled abroad and never got back to her in manner that shows she still cares for him (he discovered later that he was the one she got married to); she will suddenly disappear when she wants to receive some calls, etc. Though he is gradually getting over the heartbreak, yet the hurt some times feel fresh.
This is the sad story that some men have to tell about the opposite sex; they got hurt because they ignored obvious signs that things were not right in their relationship. Here are list of ladies you should not consider for a partner…
Women who have not buried the past- The past is powerful enough to shape the future; if things go wrong with our lives in the past, it could have a grave impact on our present and future. Pain can do a constructive or destructive work on people depending on how each individual react to it.
When I spoke in one of the university in Nigeria recently on relationship issues; one of the question that I was asked was on the issue of a guy going through challenging times in his relationship because his fiancée can’t just let go of the past. She has formed an opinion that men can’t be trusted, so I was asked what the guy should do. My response was that the guy should walk out of the relationship. Why did I come to this conclusion? Over the years I have discovered that hurting people hurt others either consciously or unconsciously.
One way you will know a person that is hurting is; she consciously generalizes everyone as the same. The statement, ‘All men are the same’ is a statement often associated to hurting people. It is best a man walk out of a relationship that his lady keeps talking about the past than stay in it. If your lady keeps reliving the glory of her past relationship, then my advice is that you set her free to go back to her old lover and run for your dear life.
Women who are not discreet with words- I was in a friends place once when two individuals (a guy and his fiancée) walked in to see him, to work out a challenge that they were going through. In the cause of discussion, the lady became dirty in her use of words. Her words were so foul that I did not need to wonder what will happen when they get married.
If you ever meet a lady who can say anything just as they are, you have found disaster that is about to happen. No man should be blinded nor should they give excuses for the lack of discretion on the issue of words from the lady they are dating. Irrespective of how angry a person is, it is wrong to fight dirty with words.
Let me give this advice to every male single that will read this write up; walk out of the relationship with any lady that batter your ego. One way that a man’s ego can be battered is when he is compared with another individual. I have said this to men in the relationship meetings that I was privileged to speak in; walk out of any relationship that your fiancée compares you with your friend, she will not stop it after marriage. Never forget that we are designed to behave in a consistent manner; a bad mouth lady will not be a wise one after marriage.
Ask men who have thrown a punch at their wives; you will hear that they (wives) said things that made them loose control. If you want to be a gentleman after marriage, stay away for foul mouthed ladies irrespective of your feelings.
Women that you suspect are two timing- There is nothing that hurt a married man more than knowing that his wife is sexual involved with another man; men have been known to take the path of murder to save their honor.
Women who two time are pretty smart about how they go about it; over the years though, I have come to a conclusion that there is no perfect cover up or liars. What get decent men fooled easily is they close their mind to what is evidently wrong in their relationship. Sometimes they ignore the uncomfortable feeling that they have about their partner; some of this feeling initially does not have a concrete evident to prove its veracity.
When you are dating a lady who will not pick her calls in your presence nor can explain some of her movement, you may be relating with a lady that is two timing. If a lady is not consistent in her words she is a potential two timer because people who lie are prone to other evil vices.
Women who are too in control of their lives- Women who make decisions of their own and carry a posture of been in charge are not the best of women to get married to. It is good that a lady knows what she wants out of life, and be daring to achieve it. Yet she should not be the type that is not willing to change or adapt to the requirement of letting her man take the leadership position in the relationship.
I heard the story of a young man that stopped his marriage arrangement recently; his fiancée had taken a major decision in the marriage plans without consulting him though they had both talked on the issue earlier and he had given her a standing instruction on the issue.
Women who will not allow their men take the leadership position should be done away with before marriage; love should not blind any man from the reality of the misery of a woman that always has her way. I feel every man should read my write up on the internet (www.scribd.com... log in femi fasanya) tagged when men wear brassiere and women singlet. Though the write up is for married men, yet I feel it will help those that are single see reasons to make a wise choice of a submissive lady for a wife.
Women with terrible attitude- A dear friend, who got to know a lady years ago, decided that it was time to solidify the relationship. He made his proposal known to her and she told him she was going to think about. Few weeks later, she came visiting him at home for the first time. Her attitude the day she came visiting was appalling; she spoke rudely and behaved so terribly that my friend allowed the relationship die a natural death. Today he is married to someone else and I consider the move a smart one.
A Nigerian adage says, ‘Attitude is like smoke, it cannot be hidden.’ When you meet a person with a terrible attitude, it won’t take long to know it, but some single men ignore it because these ladies treat them differently. Some men ignore these dangerous flaws until they got married and feel like they are in a trap.
Men should note attitudes tied to relationship with close family members; if your babe is not the accommodating type and you love your family, the best you can do is move on. Attitudes when it comes to spending should not be ignored; if you are dating a lady who sees you as a meal ticket or she has become dependant on you for things, move on. If you get married to a lady who is milking you today, after marriage, you will be hiding your money in the car.
Do you have a question on any relationship issue? Send a text and get a response; your confidentiality will be kept.
Olufemi Fasanya
08037257479, 08083906495
