For some weeks back, I have been writing on the subject of the topic above; I have come to the conclusion that mistakes can be avoided and that everything ought not to be learnt by experience. I really am against the saying that celebrates experience as the best teacher; I feel that not all the lessons of life ought to be learnt by going through the experience personally. I have related with singles that have gone through experiences of pain in relationships they had been involved in; you can sense deep rooted pain and scar that may never go away even when they find someone suitable to get married to.
I appreciate the definition of mistake by Pastor Sam Ajana; he defines success as missing the step to take and taking the steps that ought not to be taken. We all have taken the steps that shouldn’t have if knowledge was sought and applied. A month of been married to Lillian made Sylvester realize that he had made a costly mistake; in just one month of marriage, she had barricaded his home from visits from the members of his family who are coldly attended to. When his mum came to Lagos for medical treatment, she got a cold reception from her that made her (his mum) swore that she wouldn’t ever spend some time with them again. Before they got married, he had observed a similar trend of behavior from her; he had observed that she wasn’t the sociable type when it comes to extended family issues. She had often said to him that after marriage she’ll like a ‘me and my hubby alone’ kind of life; every other family members should stay in their own house. He thought that she didn’t mean it because of the kind of relationship she had with his mum and siblings (his dad had been dead years back) before they got married. He has been married for over 10 years, and still wished that he hadn’t taken the step of taking the relationship with her to the level of marriage.
We all have at a point in our life miss the step we should have taken by missing opportunities that came our way; the reality of life is that some opportunities lost can’t be regained again- it’s gone forever. Joseph had known Tara when they were both young; they were like blood brother and sister. They attended the same schools- secondary and tertiary institution; on several occasion he had given her advices on relationship issues and she had pointed him in the direction of women who are doing their best to catch his attention. People have always tried to let both party see that they are suitable for one another; their response was that their relationship is beyond that. Joseph however, noticed that at a particular time in their relationship, Tara was been protective around him; she would appear jealous when some women comes visiting and in some rear occasion turn away some women when they come calling. Today, they are both married to different partners; however, Joseph regretted not listening to people who tried to point him in the direction of relationship with Tara. She still remains his confidant and the person he can share his heart out to.
The story of Sylvester and Joseph shows that though some mistakes can be taken care of, yet others can’t be undone when they are made. As a single it’s important that you reduce the mistakes of your life especially in intimate relationship to the barest minimum and that can only be done by seeking knowledge in the area. Success or failure in life (relationship) is tied to your action or inactions and also to what you know and what you don’t know,
Here is the concluding of the topic I have been treating for some weeks now with an additional point added-
The believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder- I guess that you have heard of the statement- Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I really don’t accept that; I have come to observe what people call beauty and my conclusion is, is this guy blind? What they celebrate as beauty is what others are doing their best to let them see that there is something wrong with their sight. Johnny is a dear friend; we have known each other for some years now. When I met the lady he was dating, I knew inside in was in a fools world if he expects the lady to be faithful to him. There was something about her that just made me feel uncomfortable. To Johnny she was the best thing that has ever happened to him; she was beautiful, sexy and always treating him like a prince. You will we see her hug and kiss him like someone madly in love. Today, Johnny can now see what everyone else can see; however, 3 years had gone down the drain and that is one of the reasons he hurts badly. Why did he end the relationship? He caught her read handed on bed with another man. You can still sense his hurt till date; he is in his late thirties but not thinking of marriage. To him women are bitches.
I have come to realize that beauty isn’t in the eye of the beholder alone, everyone on else knows beauty when they see one. When I spoke in a singles gather on the subject we are treating, I told the participant to compare two buildings- one old, the other knew; my word to them is, do you need an angel to tell you that the new house is far more beautiful than the other. When you are the only one that can tell if a person is beautiful, you must either be color blind or mentally retarded. It’s a costly mistake to feel that you are the one eye man in the land of the blind; it’s a costly mistake not to listen to other peoples opinion on whom you are dating.
When you are the only one that can see the beauty in someone and every other person says other wise; what you are seeing is what will bring lots of misery to you later in life.
Despising the spiritual authority place over you- Whatever religion you practice, there are spiritual authorities that are put in place to bring order and to teach followers on its dictate. They are spiritual guides place over your life for your good; they are men with weaknesses, yet they were placed there for your good.
Years ago, I heard a Muslim cleric make a profound statement that I have said over and over again even in Christian gathering that I spoken in on relationship issues. He said, ‘Muslim should get married to singles and Christians should get married to themselves.’ I have rephrased that statement this way, Christians should marry Christians, Muslim should get married to Muslims, atheist should get married to atheist, while born again Christians should get married to themselves.
I have observe that some Christian singles have prophets that they celebrate more than their pastor; I feel that this is an abnormal trend because their pastor and not the man that acts as a seer is the one place to be a shepherd over them. It’s so disheartening when I come in contact with singles who despise spiritual authority; no single that ever does that who don’t have a measure of regret for that action.
I heard the story of a lady that sought the counsel of her pastor on her relationship issue; his response is that she should go and pray about the issue to seek God’s will though she knew that after the medical result they brought, she could sense that he will not approve of the relationship. The medical result shows that they were both AS; she rebel against his counsel when he eventually told her not to move the relationship to the stage of marriage. They got married without the church’s approval in a registry and all seems well until they had their first child; he was diagnosed to have sickle cell anemia. The family is going through financial challenges because when their son has a crisis, it gulps a lot of the family fund. This is beginning to have a toll on their relationship.
Do you have a question on any relationship issue or do want to receive my monthly text messages? Send a text with your email address and get a free e-book; your confidentiality will be kept.
Olufemi Fasanya 08037257479,
I appreciate the definition of mistake by Pastor Sam Ajana; he defines success as missing the step to take and taking the steps that ought not to be taken. We all have taken the steps that shouldn’t have if knowledge was sought and applied. A month of been married to Lillian made Sylvester realize that he had made a costly mistake; in just one month of marriage, she had barricaded his home from visits from the members of his family who are coldly attended to. When his mum came to Lagos for medical treatment, she got a cold reception from her that made her (his mum) swore that she wouldn’t ever spend some time with them again. Before they got married, he had observed a similar trend of behavior from her; he had observed that she wasn’t the sociable type when it comes to extended family issues. She had often said to him that after marriage she’ll like a ‘me and my hubby alone’ kind of life; every other family members should stay in their own house. He thought that she didn’t mean it because of the kind of relationship she had with his mum and siblings (his dad had been dead years back) before they got married. He has been married for over 10 years, and still wished that he hadn’t taken the step of taking the relationship with her to the level of marriage.
We all have at a point in our life miss the step we should have taken by missing opportunities that came our way; the reality of life is that some opportunities lost can’t be regained again- it’s gone forever. Joseph had known Tara when they were both young; they were like blood brother and sister. They attended the same schools- secondary and tertiary institution; on several occasion he had given her advices on relationship issues and she had pointed him in the direction of women who are doing their best to catch his attention. People have always tried to let both party see that they are suitable for one another; their response was that their relationship is beyond that. Joseph however, noticed that at a particular time in their relationship, Tara was been protective around him; she would appear jealous when some women comes visiting and in some rear occasion turn away some women when they come calling. Today, they are both married to different partners; however, Joseph regretted not listening to people who tried to point him in the direction of relationship with Tara. She still remains his confidant and the person he can share his heart out to.
The story of Sylvester and Joseph shows that though some mistakes can be taken care of, yet others can’t be undone when they are made. As a single it’s important that you reduce the mistakes of your life especially in intimate relationship to the barest minimum and that can only be done by seeking knowledge in the area. Success or failure in life (relationship) is tied to your action or inactions and also to what you know and what you don’t know,
Here is the concluding of the topic I have been treating for some weeks now with an additional point added-
The believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder- I guess that you have heard of the statement- Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I really don’t accept that; I have come to observe what people call beauty and my conclusion is, is this guy blind? What they celebrate as beauty is what others are doing their best to let them see that there is something wrong with their sight. Johnny is a dear friend; we have known each other for some years now. When I met the lady he was dating, I knew inside in was in a fools world if he expects the lady to be faithful to him. There was something about her that just made me feel uncomfortable. To Johnny she was the best thing that has ever happened to him; she was beautiful, sexy and always treating him like a prince. You will we see her hug and kiss him like someone madly in love. Today, Johnny can now see what everyone else can see; however, 3 years had gone down the drain and that is one of the reasons he hurts badly. Why did he end the relationship? He caught her read handed on bed with another man. You can still sense his hurt till date; he is in his late thirties but not thinking of marriage. To him women are bitches.
I have come to realize that beauty isn’t in the eye of the beholder alone, everyone on else knows beauty when they see one. When I spoke in a singles gather on the subject we are treating, I told the participant to compare two buildings- one old, the other knew; my word to them is, do you need an angel to tell you that the new house is far more beautiful than the other. When you are the only one that can tell if a person is beautiful, you must either be color blind or mentally retarded. It’s a costly mistake to feel that you are the one eye man in the land of the blind; it’s a costly mistake not to listen to other peoples opinion on whom you are dating.
When you are the only one that can see the beauty in someone and every other person says other wise; what you are seeing is what will bring lots of misery to you later in life.
Despising the spiritual authority place over you- Whatever religion you practice, there are spiritual authorities that are put in place to bring order and to teach followers on its dictate. They are spiritual guides place over your life for your good; they are men with weaknesses, yet they were placed there for your good.
Years ago, I heard a Muslim cleric make a profound statement that I have said over and over again even in Christian gathering that I spoken in on relationship issues. He said, ‘Muslim should get married to singles and Christians should get married to themselves.’ I have rephrased that statement this way, Christians should marry Christians, Muslim should get married to Muslims, atheist should get married to atheist, while born again Christians should get married to themselves.
I have observe that some Christian singles have prophets that they celebrate more than their pastor; I feel that this is an abnormal trend because their pastor and not the man that acts as a seer is the one place to be a shepherd over them. It’s so disheartening when I come in contact with singles who despise spiritual authority; no single that ever does that who don’t have a measure of regret for that action.
I heard the story of a lady that sought the counsel of her pastor on her relationship issue; his response is that she should go and pray about the issue to seek God’s will though she knew that after the medical result they brought, she could sense that he will not approve of the relationship. The medical result shows that they were both AS; she rebel against his counsel when he eventually told her not to move the relationship to the stage of marriage. They got married without the church’s approval in a registry and all seems well until they had their first child; he was diagnosed to have sickle cell anemia. The family is going through financial challenges because when their son has a crisis, it gulps a lot of the family fund. This is beginning to have a toll on their relationship.
Do you have a question on any relationship issue or do want to receive my monthly text messages? Send a text with your email address and get a free e-book; your confidentiality will be kept.
Olufemi Fasanya 08037257479,
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