The past two weeks, I have been writing on the subject of discussion; I have come to realize that when a person is knowledgeable and there is an application of what is known, lots of the pains of experience will be avoided. I believe that most things in life shouldn’t be learnt by experience; sometimes the scars that it leaves often remain with one until death. When a single go through a terrible experience in the relationship she had been involved with in the past, it’s easy for her never to trust the opposite sex even though she might get involve with a sincere one.
Sarah really don’t believe that no man can be faithful to his partner; she had seen her dad cheat on her mum, and she had stumble on her boyfriends (she had dated 3) cheat on her. So when she met John who is committed to his religion and who seems to treat her differently, she fell in love with him. However, she never stops nagging him when she sees him with another lady (when they are pretty); she would tell him how much men can’t be trusted and their been irresponsible. Eventually she would discover that there was no intimacy between him and those ladies. One event however became more embarrassing for him was when Sarah came visiting at his place when he was not around; his sister had returned from the university because of ASUU strike and had decided to put up with him for the night. When Sarah met her in his apartment, she put up a fight with her; what saved the day were neighbors who came to the rescue of his sister. This to John was the event that broke the camel’s back. He walked out of the relationship.
We all are susceptible to mistakes; however, some mistakes in life can be avoided if knowledge is sought. If every single will take the time to read and observe other people’s experiences, the rate of heartbreaks will reduce drastically. I observe a trend that I want everyone who will read this write up to avoid, it’s that of concluding that they have had enough of reading or hearing information on relationship. The more you know the more stable you will be and the less chance (that is if you are smart enough to observe what is written or heard) of making the mistakes that others have made.
Here is the continuation of the write up on the avoidable mistakes singles make-
Not having a scale of preference per time for their lives- I feel that there is time for everything under the heaven; just as there is a time to be born and die, there is also a time to go into relationship and time not to go into one. I feel the singles should pursue self improvement before wooing a lady; I feel that the more enlighten a person is, the chances that he can make the right decision on who eventually get married to and the success of the marriage.
One are I feel that all singles should be enlightened on is in the area of their academics; some couples (women especially) have personal regrets that they didn’t make their education their priority before they got married. When Tonia was much young, she was quite beautiful and the babe in town. She had chunk of men wooing her; despite the fact that her mum (her died had died two months after birth) kept telling her to be level head and be studious she just didn’t get understand why she (her mum) was so touchy on the issue until she got pregnant and got married to Dany. He had promised her heaven on earth if she gets married to him and part of which is to foot her education bills. When she had her first child, he gave the excuse that she should take time out to care for him until he is old enough; in less than two years in the marriage, she got pregnant again and not long after his birth she had another daughter. All would have been well if her husband was not defrauded by people he did business with. Presently, they are going through tough times financially and she is handicapped to help; the reason is because the job is can only get is that of a messenger because doesn’t have the required qualification to get a better one.
My advice to singles who will read this write is; don’t settle down with the qualification you have now. The best that you can do for yourself now (before you get married and the children start coming) is to keep upgrading yourself academically; I have discovered that when you gain admission into a tertiary institution, you will discover that you were once a local champion and that the guys who are saying all the sweet nothing are also local champs. If you keep a level head and graduate with good grades, you will also discover that relationship entails more than what the lover boys in school had been saying and doing.
Not learning from the mistakes of their parents- It’s so common to see singles blame their parents for their predicaments; it’s so easy to judge and condemn them. I have observe this trend over the years and one thing that is common with people who do this, is that they make similar mistakes that their parents make. I young adult was relating with me some years back; she was calling her mum all manner of names for leaving them when they were young. When she began saying those words, I have a deep pressure in my heart and immediately told her to stop because God hasn’t given a child to dishonor his/her parents irrespective of the mistakes they may have made. However, I observed in her life similar trend in the behavior of her mum and herself.
Recently, I had a discussion with one of the adult youth I relate with; she was an under graduate in one of the tertiary institution in the country. She had met a young lad and they had become intimate friends; they had talk about settling down in marriage in some couple of years from now. in the course of our discussion she spoke on her experience after she took a new turn instead of going in the path her mum is taking when relating with her dad. She discovered that just as her dad reacts adversely when her mum speaks to him in a manner, her fiancé also does the same. So when she changes her approach to issues and spoke with him differently, she observed that he listens to what she has to say to him.
My advice to singles that will have the opportunity to read this write up is not to make the mistake of blaming their parents, but rather to learn from their mistakes and consciously not making the same.
Do you have a question on any relationship issue or do want to receive my monthly text messages? Send a text with your email address and get a free e-book; your confidentiality will be kept.
Olufemi Fasanya
Sarah really don’t believe that no man can be faithful to his partner; she had seen her dad cheat on her mum, and she had stumble on her boyfriends (she had dated 3) cheat on her. So when she met John who is committed to his religion and who seems to treat her differently, she fell in love with him. However, she never stops nagging him when she sees him with another lady (when they are pretty); she would tell him how much men can’t be trusted and their been irresponsible. Eventually she would discover that there was no intimacy between him and those ladies. One event however became more embarrassing for him was when Sarah came visiting at his place when he was not around; his sister had returned from the university because of ASUU strike and had decided to put up with him for the night. When Sarah met her in his apartment, she put up a fight with her; what saved the day were neighbors who came to the rescue of his sister. This to John was the event that broke the camel’s back. He walked out of the relationship.
We all are susceptible to mistakes; however, some mistakes in life can be avoided if knowledge is sought. If every single will take the time to read and observe other people’s experiences, the rate of heartbreaks will reduce drastically. I observe a trend that I want everyone who will read this write up to avoid, it’s that of concluding that they have had enough of reading or hearing information on relationship. The more you know the more stable you will be and the less chance (that is if you are smart enough to observe what is written or heard) of making the mistakes that others have made.
Here is the continuation of the write up on the avoidable mistakes singles make-
Not having a scale of preference per time for their lives- I feel that there is time for everything under the heaven; just as there is a time to be born and die, there is also a time to go into relationship and time not to go into one. I feel the singles should pursue self improvement before wooing a lady; I feel that the more enlighten a person is, the chances that he can make the right decision on who eventually get married to and the success of the marriage.
One are I feel that all singles should be enlightened on is in the area of their academics; some couples (women especially) have personal regrets that they didn’t make their education their priority before they got married. When Tonia was much young, she was quite beautiful and the babe in town. She had chunk of men wooing her; despite the fact that her mum (her died had died two months after birth) kept telling her to be level head and be studious she just didn’t get understand why she (her mum) was so touchy on the issue until she got pregnant and got married to Dany. He had promised her heaven on earth if she gets married to him and part of which is to foot her education bills. When she had her first child, he gave the excuse that she should take time out to care for him until he is old enough; in less than two years in the marriage, she got pregnant again and not long after his birth she had another daughter. All would have been well if her husband was not defrauded by people he did business with. Presently, they are going through tough times financially and she is handicapped to help; the reason is because the job is can only get is that of a messenger because doesn’t have the required qualification to get a better one.
My advice to singles who will read this write is; don’t settle down with the qualification you have now. The best that you can do for yourself now (before you get married and the children start coming) is to keep upgrading yourself academically; I have discovered that when you gain admission into a tertiary institution, you will discover that you were once a local champion and that the guys who are saying all the sweet nothing are also local champs. If you keep a level head and graduate with good grades, you will also discover that relationship entails more than what the lover boys in school had been saying and doing.
Not learning from the mistakes of their parents- It’s so common to see singles blame their parents for their predicaments; it’s so easy to judge and condemn them. I have observe this trend over the years and one thing that is common with people who do this, is that they make similar mistakes that their parents make. I young adult was relating with me some years back; she was calling her mum all manner of names for leaving them when they were young. When she began saying those words, I have a deep pressure in my heart and immediately told her to stop because God hasn’t given a child to dishonor his/her parents irrespective of the mistakes they may have made. However, I observed in her life similar trend in the behavior of her mum and herself.
Recently, I had a discussion with one of the adult youth I relate with; she was an under graduate in one of the tertiary institution in the country. She had met a young lad and they had become intimate friends; they had talk about settling down in marriage in some couple of years from now. in the course of our discussion she spoke on her experience after she took a new turn instead of going in the path her mum is taking when relating with her dad. She discovered that just as her dad reacts adversely when her mum speaks to him in a manner, her fiancé also does the same. So when she changes her approach to issues and spoke with him differently, she observed that he listens to what she has to say to him.
My advice to singles that will have the opportunity to read this write up is not to make the mistake of blaming their parents, but rather to learn from their mistakes and consciously not making the same.
Do you have a question on any relationship issue or do want to receive my monthly text messages? Send a text with your email address and get a free e-book; your confidentiality will be kept.
Olufemi Fasanya
08037257479
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